YOGI BERRA SAYINGS; If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

• "If you come to a fork in the road, take it."


"This is like deja vu all over again."

• "You can observe a lot just by watching."

• "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."


• "If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."


• "Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."

• "He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.

"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"

• "He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

• "I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.

• "I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.


• "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

• "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

• "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

• "Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

• "It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."


• "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

• "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."

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• "Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.

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• "You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

• "90% of the putts that are short don't go in."

• "I made a wrong mistake."


• "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.

• "I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."


• "It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."


• "I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.


• "You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."

• "I didn't really say everything I said."




LIVONIA, NY—Mere hours after watching Rob Reiner's classic 1987 film The Princess Bride with his children, area father William Loomis badly botched some of the most familiar lines from the movie, sources reported Monday. "My friend Laura came over and my dad greeted her at the door by saying, 'Hello. I am Diego Montoya. You killed my father. Now you will die,'" said Loomis' 17-year-old daughter Erica. "Then at dinner he started waving his wine glass and yelling, 'irreconcilable!' over and over again in this sort of Elmer Fudd voice. That's not even the right speech impediment." Loomis has a history of bungling well-known cultural references, most notably in 1985 when he spent all summer asking family members, "Where's the meat